My Star Wars Novel Is... Kind of Getting Annoying!

I'll just go straight out and say it, I love Star Wars novels. If you ever see me reading a book, it's probably a Star Wars novel. I don't why.. but the entire ideas and themes expressed in the Star Wars universe just speak to me. I love the entire concept of like "Good Jedi" and "Bad Jedi" and "Good Jedi that Become Bad Jedi" and "Bad Jedi That Become Good Jedi" and.... the list pretty much goes on and on and on and on and on. So to put it simply, I am a pretty big Star Wars fan. Not just of the movies though.. but of the entire concept behind Star Wars.

Very rarely do I read a Star Wars book that I don't enjoy. Unfortuantely, "Labyrinth of Evil" just had to go and ruin it for me. It's just kind of boring and hard to follow. For one thing, there isn't as much of the entire Star Wars feel to it. No really cool lightsaber battles, no geek philosophy about the force, and no new concepts to speak of. It's like the ultimate filler I have ever read! This is why Episode 3 open the way it does.. because no body cares about the political side of Star Wars! We either want to see people slinging lightsabers around, or we want to hear some geek philosophy. That's why we watch Star Wars movies, and that is why we read Star Wars novels. Without the lightsabers and the philosphy.. it's just boring! Especially when your book is set in the time of the prequel films, meaning that you have one of the whinest main characters in all of history (for those of you who don't know, it's Anakin Skywalker).

I'm almost finished with the book anyways, so I can soon move on to something else. It wasn't painful.. but I didn't really enjoy it all that much either. I should really read some reviews before I buy my books. So until next time, May The Geek Be With You!

Crazy Disneyland Trip

So anyways, today I ended up going to Disneyland with a group of my friends. It was all very last minute, since I wasn't really informed about it until a buddy on mine left me a Myspace comment asking whether I was going. Soooo, thanks to my top notch totally awesome skills of reasoning, I was able to figure when they were showing up and when to meet up with them. Oh yeah, I'm that good! You wish you had my skills dont'cha?! Dont'cha?!!

To sum it all up, I pretty much just had a blast. We didn't go on quite as many rides as I would have liked, but I really can't complain. Okay, I can complain.. but I'm not going to say what about. There was an incident with a Finding Nemo sign and....yeah. You know who you are, and you know what you were doing! I'll just leave it at that, and try to erase the incident from my memory. Not that it was particularly awful it was just... strange.

While we were there, for some reason we dropped by the arcade in Tommorowland. It was really quite fun, but the stupid Lost World machien gobbled up all my dollar bills. It's just too dang addictive! For one second you're shooting up some Raptors, and then the next it's asking you to put in another dollar bill. That's ridicoulous! I've played that game in plenty of other arcades, and I've never had to pay that much money before. Of course.. this is Disneyland, so that isn't all that unexpected.

I swear, the Matterhorn will never seem the same ever again. My friend Ryan and I went on with my iPod jacked into both of our ears, and we listened to M.C. Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" while looking backwards. It was quite incredible, and just a little disorienting. It truly adds a whole new layer to a ride that didn't have very much of a plot to begin with. So you can kind of invent your own, through the magic of M.C. Hammer! HAMMER TIME!

Oh! And apparently all my friends hate Fullmetal Alchemist for some reason. *shakes head* They will never know what it means to truly fall in love with an anime cartoon. Pity.

Anyways, I'm just gonna end up yammering on and on and on and on unless I end this thing right now. So I'm just gonna slam on the brakes here, and tell you guys "May The Geek Be With You." :)

The Stories Remain Untold

For the last couple years, I've had a few good ideas that I thought would translate into great stories. Unfortuantely, due to my complete lack of motivation, I haven't really gotten around to actually writing them. Now that I'm in college, matters have only gotten worse for alot of my unrealised ideas. It isn't that I don't have enough free-time to write them.. it's just that I can get too easily side tracked.

There was one story that I actually got around to writing, mostly because I thought the plot and twists were fairly orginal and it would be something to creative to partake in. Unfortuantely, I only got about two chapters in before I stopped writing. The intro (in my opinion anyways) was fantastic.. I just didn't like how Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 came about. I guess that's why they call them drafts, but I just can't get myself to revise and reimagine things so they'll work on paper. It's always far more difficult to tailor something to your vision then you first expect.. especially when it would technically be the first novel you have ever written.

Don't ask me what I didn't like about Chapters 1 and 2, because I really can't put my finger on it. It just never seemed quite as inspiring or as exciting as it appeared in my head. When you actually have to draw it out and describe it, you realise that it isn't going to move along at the roller coaster like pace you first expected. And the dialouge and world seemed far too child-like, not exactly what I had in mind when I developed the plot outline. In order for the story to work, there has to be a certain amount of maturity to the story.. and that just wasn't showing through for me. Call me picky, but if I'm gonna write an entire book, I want it to read exactly how I imagined it or not at all.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Describing this is kind of weird, since I don't really talk about it very much (unless I'm talking to Christine.. you know who you are). But for a while there I figured that I would just write a couple of fan-fictions based off of my favorite anime cartoons to get some experience. Well, I started writing a fan-fiction for Fullmetal Alchemist.. got two chapters in and stopped writing. Ugggggghh! I am not easily motivated! It was gonna be a really good fan-fiction too!

Anyways, that is enough whining for today. I just felt like expressing one of my interests with you, my loyal readers (I know there aren't any of you... except for Christine). So until next time, MAY THE GEEK BE WITH YOU!

The Last 24 Hours

Don't ask me how this came about.. but just today I started wondering what I would do if today was my last day to live. That begginning right now, the next twenty-four hours would be my last. What would I do with my time? What things would I attempt to accomplish before death parted me from my family and friends? It's really interesting when you think about it, you would probably accomplish things you would never before see yourself doing. So to myself I began to day-dream... what would I do with the time?

1) Say goodbye to my family and friends: This step would be the most difficult of all, and couldn't be put off until the last minute. In my opinion, there is nothing more important in this world then the love I receive from my family and friends, so in my final hours I would want to tell them exactly how I felt. How much they had ment to me, how much they helped me develop who I am today. I can just imagine saying goodbye to my grandmother and mom.. how heartwrenching it would be for them to know that they will never see me again.. or at least not in this life.
One man that I would absouletely have to send my best wishes to is my best friend Dylan, who has been more like a brother then a friend all these years. We've had our arguments and the times when he bothered me more then anything else... but he's always remained my best friend this entire time. And for that, I thank him.

2) Resolve any loose ends: If there was ever anyone that I hurt at one point or another, I would want to resolve everything between the individual and me. Maybe for some odd reason, I had emotinally damaged someone in ways that cannot be easily mended (I think everyone has at one point in their lives). So, I would wish to meet them and make everything right. Hopefully they will understand why I did the things I did, and they would find it somewhere in their hearts to forgive me. It would make me very happy knowing that there weren't any hard feelings before I ascended into the great unknown.

3) Have one last Disneyland trip: This would be assuming that I was well enough to even go to Disneyland.. but if I was, I would want to go on one last Disneyland trip with my friends. The mood probably wouldn't be the same, but at least I could leave with a sense that I tied up that portion of my teenage years. Some of my fondest memories took place at Disneyland.. I would want to relive all of that.


4) The last prayer: I have never been particularly religious, but I know there is something out there. Death might not be the end for me.. and I would want to meld with whatever created me. This would no doubt be where the entire whole life flashing before your eyes thing happens, but I know I'll leave with no regrets.

And yeah.. that would basically be it. ....... That was incredibly depressing. What kind of a mood am I in?!! Need to lighten the mood here. Uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... may the geek be with you? Yeah, I think that closes it pretty well. Or at least I sure hope it does. *shuts up*

Life in General: aka "The Real Life Discussion"

I just realised that out of all my recent blog entires.. I haven't talked about my actual life very much. So without further ado, here is a long drawn out and possibly boring description about how my week has been! Wheee! *waits for applause* Okay, so it's not the most exciting topic in the world.. but at least I'm not talking about anime.

You know the one thing that kinda sucked about this week? I was sick! Yep, that was kind of a bummer. You know, I had the usual *hack hacks* and *cough coughs* lately, but thankfully the magic of pills have reduced it to a minimum. Thanks Advil! You're my best buddy! You know.. besides all those other people I've told are my best buddies. But those were all lies!

Being sick is not fun, as illustrated by this adorable drawing. Isn't it cute!

I've been completely unmotivated though, which is unfortuante. I was really active last month, but for seem reason I've been really really lazy as of lately. But school's gonna start up on Monday. :) Yeaaaaaahh.. and all that Bleach time just went flying out the door. It's better all around though, since I feel alot more confident about myself when I'm actually working towards a goal. This semester.. it's gonna be the big "A"! Oh yeah! It shall be mine once again! *sinister laugh*

Oh yeah! And I haven't even talked about sacred "Fullmetal Alchemist Calendar" yet. My brother and sister-and-law got me a bunch of FMA stuff for my birthday (and a Darth Vader t-shirt). I got a deck of Fullmetal Alchemist playing cards (traditonal playing cards, not a TCG) and the real star of the show.. the beautiful Fullmetal Alchemist calendar. I immediately nailed it up to my wall. And whatever that thing says goes man! Each day before I'd go to bed, I'd write up an entire schedule in the square for the upcoming day. If I didn't do everything I had written down, I would get a frowny face. If I did it all, I would get one completely professional check-mark! Sounds really childish, I know. LOL, it really worked for a while there though. That was until I got sick.. then I just pretty much told myself that the schedule wasn't valid anymore. Like everybody else.. I get incredibly lazy when I'm sick. :) And I'm proud of it!

This is a FMA calendar. Not the one majestic one I own mind you, but this is just to illustrate the point. Anime calendars rule! Nuff said.


So yeah, that's all I have to ramble about for right now. Nothing too overy tramatic or dramatic happened, so I really don't have anything to complain about. Which you know.. is basically all Blogger's do. No offense nice Blogger's who are no doubt totally digging my blog. :) Leave some nice comments! May the geek be with you.

The Donny and Marie Show!! aka "Crappy Show my Mother Used to Watch"

She's a little bit country, and he's a little bit rock n' roll. But there is one thing they both are, incredibly fake and boring. For those of you who don't know, The Donny and Marie Show is a staple of bad 70's television. Everything down to the hair styles to the tacky music simply wreeks of the 70's... but not in a good way! Let me explain further.

Wow! Donny and Marie action figures! So it wasn't an urban legend that they were a pop culture smash. That's reassuring to know after watching their show.

My mom has a bad habit of wanting me to watch the show's she grew up when she was a girl, so I was forced to sit through this retro piece of variety show waste. For one thing.. the show is just stupid! I feel really immature lowering to such adjectives, but it's true. The skits are anything but creative, making even SNL's worst seem like comedy gold. Now the musical numbers are actually pretty decent, but them come in such excess that you feel like you're at the opera instead of watching a variety show.

Wow! A Donny and Marie button! Now I can bring the tackyness with me wherever I go! Thanks marketing executives!

Everything about the show just seemed fake to me. Infact, the best metaphor I can think of is a man who has had one too many botox injections. He's trying to make himself look good.. but in the end he just looks really akward and kinda scary. Now that I think of it.. that metaphor wasn't half bad at all. Come on Donny! Don't you realise you look like a geek prancing around in your tight pants and puffy jacket (apparently, no one had any fashion taste in the 70's). Don't tell me kids at school didn't get made fun of back then for wearing stuff like that. It looks ridiculous!

Wow! Donny Osmond is dancing! And.... girls are swooning? Over what?!!

One interesting thing I did find out was that the show was produced by Sid and Marty Croft. For those of you who don't know, they were the minds behind such fabulous programming as "H.R. Puffinstuff" and "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters". In other words, these men have created nothing but garbage their entire lives. No wonder the show was so tacky! Thank you Sid and Marty, thank you for all the unintentional laughs. May the geek be with you!

Howl's Moving Castle Review

Very rarely do I find myself particularly engaged or fascinated by a movie. As a fairly avid film fan, nothing is truly new or unique. You realise that every theme and idea has been recycled in some way, and even the big time summer blockbuster's have mostly been remakes or retreads of old classics. Then finally, after watching nothing but complete garbage for the last few weeks, I found Howl's Moving Castle. Being the hard-core otaku that I am, I basically had to see it.

You put your left foot in you put your left foot out. And you shake it all about!

Created by Hayao Miyazaki (the genius behind such films as Spirted Away and Kiki's Delivery Service), Howl's Moving Castle felt like a breath of fresh air. Even at it's least inspired, Howl is still one of the best animated films I have seen in a very long time. Kind of makes me wonder what's been wrong with the Disney Studio over the last decade. While they continue to create uninspired animated trinkets like "Chicken Little" or "Meet the Robionsons", a bunch of Japanese guys manage to make something like this. Gimme a break! Isn't Disney supposed to be the leading animation studio in the world?!
Speaking of Disney, this film brings to mind many old classics. It really reminds me of sitting down and watching The Lion King for the very first time. As a kid, I was so completely immersed in this world whenever I plopped it into the VHS player. It wasn't just a great animated movie, it was also a fantastic film. The characters in Howl's Moving Castle are developed with the same care and detail as any live-action film, making the movie feel like something much more then your average cartoon romp. That isn't to say that it isn't without humor or those silly zany moments that keep younger audiences engaged; it just feels more personal.

Christian Bale is the voice of the film's leading man "Howl". But geeks everywhere truly know him as the first decent Batman in "Batman Begins". Billy Crystal lends his talents too!

From begginning to end, Hayao Miyazaki packs every frame with a vibrant amount of detail. The moving castle is a great example, resembling what happens when you mix an Imperial Walker from "The Empire Strkies Back" and your average garden toad. Many of the set-pieces later on in the film are really dazzling. One of my personal favorites was the view of a gorgeous landscape from the top of the castle. You know you're watching a great movie when you've almost forgotten that the people and world onscreen were hand-drawn by some Japan's finest talents (and they really did a bang-up job).
That's not to say that I don't a few little gribes about the movies. The ending was far more sastisfying then any movie I've seen recently, but I still felt it lacked something. I really can't put my finger on it, but something was missing for me. And while the dubbing was for the most part superb, there were a few moments when I felt the voices were just a little off. But when you take into consideration that this minor detail only creeps into about one minute of the finished film, it isn't going to annoy or distract anyone from the movie. Now what might is the defenite difference in story-telling style when compared to American films. Howl's Moving Castle isn't particularly a fast-paced movie. Young kids might get bored.. but since when aren't they bored? Screw them! I'll take the beautiful vistas and fantastic musical score over 'Stitch' any day.

Just in case I didn't warn you before.. this movie is kinda weird. But a good weird. Like Wizard of Oz meets Beauty and the Beast weird!

So in conclusion: see this movie and thank me later. Trust me, you'll have a great time. May the geek be with you!

Final Film Rating: A-

Nintendo DS vs. PSP: Who Would Win?

Hello, geeks and nerds and some of my friends who are none of the above. :) Welcome to another slapped toegether blog entry, I all hope you enjoy my random ranting and or raving.. because there is no inbetween here. So today, as I was quickly trying to think of a topic (I'm not a very creative person), I decided to talk about my two best buds in the world! My Nintendo DS and PSP! ....... I know, I know. I have no life. So then I started thinking, if I pit the two together, who would stand triumphant? Who would claim the video game medal for Kaleb's Favorite Hand-held Video-game Device! What would make this more exciting you might ask? Putting it in a reality show format, of course. I'm a genius!

The PSP, one of man's best friends! You know, besides a Nintendo DS (they're both good).

*drums play in background as Jeff Probst appears in my room* Welcome back to Survivor.... The PSP/DS Edition. To my right we have the PSP, which features such fantastic games as "Tekken: Dark Ressurection", "Daxter", and "Ultimate Ghosts and Goblins." You know on second though, forget about "Ultimate Ghosts and Goblins", he doesn't count. And to the left of me with have Nintendo's little system that could, The DS! What it lacks in power, it makes up for in personality. Using a new gameplay gimmick *cough*, I mean.. revolution.. the Nintendo DS uses a touch-pad for much of it's gameplay concepts. Luckily, the number of notable games is far greater then the PSP library, but some may note that many of the games don't have as much lasting appeal. Anyways, let's get on with it.

*drums contine to roll as Tribal Council begins* Alright, why don't you two sit down. *DS and PSP sit down on there little benches* Now we're going to make our final decision here and now, this is.. the final tribal council! *dramatic music* We'll now bring in the only member of our jury, Kaleb, voted out at last week's tribal council.

Don't ask me how Jeff Probst managed to get into this blog.. it just kinda happened. He was desperate for work, and I just couldn't turn him down. He's Jeff Probst!

Kaleb and his Rant: "PSP you have lied to me! You know, besides the good times we've had with Daxter and Tekken: Dark Ressurection and... never mind, you really never lied to me. But, you're lack of an expansive game library means.. that I have to let you go. PSP *dramatic music* you're fired!"

Jeff Probst: "Ouch! Oh no he didn't! ....... So I guess that's the end of the show, tune in next time for another exciting and possibly completely pointless entry in The Journey of the Geek. Until next time, May The Geek Be With You!"


Did I mention how tiny the cartidiges are?! I mean.. dang. I sure hope the dog doesn't eat em. *sigh* That would mean bye bye Metriod.

Myspace: Bringing Adult Videos to Teens Everywhere

I don't usually make blogs like this. Most of the time, I would be typing about some dumb movie I just saw or about how I'm going ga-ga for some new anime series. But I just logged onto Myspace last night and scanned around the videos... and I cannot believe how much pornographic matieral is on there. It makes me sick, I know alot of kids who are under eighteen (some much younger then that) who have Myspace accounts, and when they're gonna click onto the videos section the first thing they're gonna be treated to is... I really don't feel like going into detail.

Soooo, is Myspace even concerned with this issue? Based off of my observations... no, they really don't care. Their video section is fairly recent, so it is understandable that it lacks many of the features you would find on YouTube, but the lack of a video age blocker is just irresponsible. Sure, it's easy to bypass, but it gives some kids the slap on the wrist they deserve before viewing any adult content. On Myspace, you can just view the video without any sort of "This is Adult Content" warning... mind you, the title is usually a dead give-away, but you know what I mean.

I really have no idea what this has to do with Myspace... but it's a cool picture!

*shakes head* The fact that MySpace hasn't even addressed this makes me sick! They haven't done a single damn thing. No age blocker, no title blocker, zip! If you think about it, they could easily just program the site to reject anything with the term "sex" or "porn" in the title. How hard could that be! Then no one else has to deal with this filth, and the people who do wish for that kind of content can go back to finding it the old-fashioned way. I know it wouldn't elimanate all of the adult content that would be on there, but at least it wouldn't be as blantantly obvious and disgusting.

Alright, that was a nice short little rant.. I believe I shall go back to writing about anime and how cool Rukia is. Until next time, May the Geek Be With You!

Kaleb-Man Returns!

I haven't made a blog post for avery long time, so I figured now that I have a little vacation time.. I'll fill you guys in on what's going on in my life currently. ... If there is anyone who really cares about what's going on in my life, but that is not the point. :) I know I have some blogger fans somewhere out there.. right? Right?!!

So before I get off topic again, I would like to tell you all one very valuable thing I learned this week. Never ever take an acclerated Chemistry class.. you have no idea what you are going to be in for. Seriously, I had never felt so overwhelmed by basic concepts before.. but the amount of stuff they expect you to learn in such a short amount of time is devestating. Our teacher was pretty fantastic though, so that was one bright spot throughout the entire ordeal. Unfortuantely, I ended up dropping the class, just because I didn't want to get a C.. which would lower my grade point average.. and that would just stink on the whole. *sigh* Thankfully, I'm going to be taking the class again in another few weeks.. but this time it won't be at an acclerated rate, so I'll have more time to soak up the matieral. Yipee!

Your typical Chemistry students... pretending to understand what the hell they're looking at. Rock on, girls.. rock on!

Oh, and did I mention that I'm uber "Bleach" addicted right now. For those of you who don't know what Bleach is (and no, it's not a substance you use to clean bathrooms), let me break it down for you. Bleach.. is basically one of the coolest anime shows period. It revovles around a main character named Ichigo, who gets thrown into being a substitute Soul Reaper (or Death God, depending on which version you're watching). :) The characters are really quite interesting, even if the story can drag in spots. I mean... how many epic battles to the death do you really need? It gets old!

The moral of this story is... never sing a Pussy-Cat Dolls song in front of Rukia. It really pisses her off!

:) So yeah, I've been doing pretty well, and I intend to update this blog far more often from now on. So until next time, I am still a hottie!

Unexplainable Intro

Imagine if you will, not having any memory about who you are. You wake up in a completely alien enviornment, and you don't have the faintest idea about how the hell you got there. No clues about who you are, what you are, or where you are. Devestation sets in, as you realise that your life up until that very moment is unknown, and your journey is just begginning.

The tale I am about to tell you isn't a work of fiction. Every word comes from the truth. It all comes from what happened to me those trying and fateful days, when everything was unexplainable. There may be times during my story that you as a reader will begin to question this tome, pouring doubt into whether I had actually taken this journey. Obviously, there is no way of convincing people like yourselves otherwise, so I'm not even going to try. You believe what you want to believe. It's your choice.

My name is Rick Swhartz, and I am a man that had an emotinal and spirtual experience that many of you couldn't possibly imagine. Imagine these things you must, because I have given you the privelage of experiencing everything that I have felt and seen. Through the better and the worst, I am your guide through the path that I myself had tread. You will follow me, whether it be through rain or shine, suffering and bliss. The path is under your feet, all you need to keep walking it, is to read on. Every page drawing you closer to the end, where lies the answers that you will so desperately seek. Think you're up for it?

Note: Wanna read more? Go to http://kalebnovel.blogspot.com/ to read more!

The Day of Terror

Yesterday will forever be known as "The Day of Teror". A day where people will look back on me, and say what a brave lad that Stewart was. In the face of almost certain doom, he turned on his iPod and carried on into the dragon's mouth! As the Rent Soundtrack swelled in his ears, he soon experienced incredible pain that no man should ever experience. Yeeeeaaaahhh... I went to the doctor yesterday.

Doctors are never this happy. Infact, I bet they photoshopped this picture. Yep, they probably had big ol' frowny faces before they started tinkering with it.

For the last couple weeks, the big toe on my left foot has been really sore. I just figured that I banged it on something and it'll be better in no time, but that wasn't the case. Mom finally found out about it when she accidentally dropped a massive, heavy, Godzilla sized painting right on my foot. I let out a high pitched scream (not unlike a little girl), and mom told me to buck up. I then explained that my toe had been sore for a couple of weeks, and now it felt like it was gonna explode all over the floor. Later on, I showed her my toe.... it didn't look pretty. I'll spare the details, but mom thought it might have been infected. Boy, did I feel stupid.

You get a bunch of random stuff when you type the word "Doctor" into Goggle. Doctor Who underpants? I'm not even that geeky!

I'll just say it right now, I hate going to see the doctor. You can just tell, the man loves to torture you with bad jokes. You'll be sitting there, and he'll just decide to crack some bad joke that comes right out of nowhere. You'll be bleeding and he goes "Oh yeah, the bleeding usually stops after an hour or so. Either that, or you'll run out of blood". I thought he was serious! It scared the heck out of me! Haha, just kidding doc, you know I love you.

I swear, my doctor looked just like that!! The fire and everything!

So anyways, the doc deduces that I have an ingrown toe-nail. I was thinking 'Well, that's great doc. Gimme the pills I need to take and we'll call it a day". But of course, the situation was much more serious then that. First, he had to stick this massive needle into my toe and inject some stuff to numb it up. THIS HURT ALOT!! When a doctor usually says you'll feel a little sting and a burning sensation, you figure that he'll just poke you and be done ub a few secounds. Of course, this wasn't the case. I'll just say this... OWWWWWWWWW!!

I'm sorry mam, but your son's swolen toe seemed to be more serious then we thought. As it turned out, your son had been infected by a retro-virus that turns ordinary people into brain-eating zomibes. He's stumbling about the halls as we speak.

After he poked my toe about six or seven times, I figured it was time to turn my iPod on. Trust me, this entire tramatic experience was made bearable through the magic of Rent. Next, he pulled out this huuuuugeee metal thingy (I don't know what to call it), stuck it under my toe nail, and lifted it up. The pain, the horrible pain!! And as if that wasn't enough, he seemed to take great joy in pulling out a jumbo sized pair of sizzors and cutting the nail in half. OUCH!

Be very very quiet. I'm hunting patients. *insert Elmer Fudd laugh*

While the searing pain was nearly unbearable, our hero stood in triumph upon the procedure chair. No more would his toe ache in terror, no more would the evil doctor poke him with needles. He was a free man! Unfortuantelly, he had to wear a really clunky shoe that the doc gave him for while the toe healed. Much complaining ensued on the part of our hero.

A Message from the Blogger: While it was a truly grueling experience, I may have exaggerated just a little. Not very much mind you, because it was horrible. However, the tale you had just witnessed may have been double dipped in whinning and lies!

My Half-Life

Half-Life 2... has consumed many valuable hours of my life. First it grips on with it's engaging story and dazzling graphics, but then it plants you straight into situations beyond your wildest imagination. Be warned, Half-Life 2 will take up about half your life. Without warning, you will become dependent on it's intense gunplay and trippy thrills to get through the day. Half-Life is more then a game... it's an addiction!

The Half-Life mod everyone has been waiting for.... "SNAKES ON A G-PLANE"!

Okay, enough of my stupid intro to what I've been doing for the last couple days. As you've probably already guessed, I've finally decided to buy Half-Life 2. A truly amazing game, that I can't seem to get away from. Even though I get stuck every ten minutes, even though the constant running and gunning gets repetive after a couple hours, Half-Life 2 packs a cinematic punch. For example, the teleporter scene early on in the game is one of the coolest scenes I've experienced in a game.. period. It had such a weird "What the Heck Am I Supposed to Do" feel that you can't help but get a little excited. Game presentation at it's finest.

Alyx doing her best Trinity impression.

The characters in the game are amazingly animated, and actually feel like real people instead of the usual broad stereo-types you get in most first-person shooters. My personal favorite character isn't much of a shocker for Half-Life 2 fans, Alyx. She just has sooo much personality, and she adds a lot more personality to a game that could have been all about shooting and blowing things up. The rest of the cast is just as fantastic, mostly consisting of quirky scientists and the totally creepy G-Man. I'm not very far into the game, but I'm sure I'll encounter him again.

Hey guys..... I'll give you a dollar if you don't kill me.

The only problem I've had with the game is the lack of guidance. You can tell that I haven't played many first-person shooters when I get lost in what seems to be a very simply constructed level. For example, the stage with the Hover Boat was quite frusturating because I couldn't find that GOSH DARN LEVER!! Ughhhhhhh, I hate passing over stupid stuff like that. Sooooo, I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to find the dumb lever, when someone just decides to kill me so I can start all over. Ughhh!

I'm sorry, I can't help you. The thing is.. I kinda saved my own butt by paying these weird alien dudes a dollar. Yeaaaaaaaahhhh... sucks to be you.

Besides my apparent lack of lever finding skill, the gameplay is quite intense and addictive (and violent, might I add). I'm currently stuck in the zombie infested town of Ravenholm, being stalked and attacked by many a zombie. This was when I came to realise just how much fun the games physics engine is. When I ran out of ammo, I just pulled out the Gravity Gun and started using random stuff around me. Furniture, televisions, soda cans, anything that I could find laying around the street. Firing said object at said zombie is always totally awesome (sorry, I can't think of a better way to describe it, even using proper grammar). I wish the game had a slow motion effect, so I could watch as that soda can bounces right off the zombie's head. Good times, good times!

Where's Tom Cruise when you need him?!!

I'm going to dedicate this paragraph to just how bad Gordon Freemen is. In the face of danger and almost certain death, Gordon stands tall (and says nothing). He doesn't crack under pressure, no matter the situation (and continues to say nothing). A really cute scientist chick could come up to him and start a conversation, and yet he continues to say nothing. Some really scary thingy could lurch out of the shadows, and Gordon will still continue to say nothing. I have one question for the developers..... HOW CAN YOU MAKE A CHARACTER WHO HAS A REALTIONSHIP WITH EVERYBODY IN THE GAME, AND YET HE DOENS'T SAY ANTYHING?!! EVERY!! Jeez, I thought it was silly when Jak (of Jak and Daxter fame) couldn't talk, but at least he grunted and moaned every now and again.

Gordon Freemen: The World's Least Interesting Leading Man

In conclusion, I'll probably make another blog update after I get the other half of my life back. Untill then, may the geek be with you!

Wako: The Rules of Engagement Review

Once in a while, a movie comes along that actually disturbs me. A film that not only keeps you engaged to the very end, but also shocks and disturbs. "Waco: The Rules of Engagement" is one of those films. A documentary about 1994's 51-day siege of the Branch Dividian compound in Waco, Texas, which resulted in the complete destruction of the compound and the deaths of many innocents. As "The Rules of Engagement" unfolds, the movie delves into facts not revealed to the public, and how portions of our own government straight out lied about the siege. What really happened at the compound is the stuff of nightmares.

A picture of the Branch Davidian compound burning to the ground.

Using footage from the actual siege, the senate investigation hearings, as well as interviews with experts and the survivors of the trajedy. This gives you a real sense of what the conflict must of been like, and the painful deaths most of the innocents inside the compound experienced. I'm not going to give anymore details for those not familiar with the subject matter; this is a movie you have to experience for yourself. Dark, unsettling, and one of the best movies I've seen for a long time. After seeing it, many will begin to question how our government and law enforcement could handle the situation in such an inhumane and grotesque way.

Classic YouTube Videos

I'm really bored, so here's a bunch of links to videos that everyone should see at least once. These are "Kaleb Approved"!

Chad Vader- Day Shift Manager (Episode 1): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0&mode=related&search

Kaleb Review: This is the most orginal Star Wars fan film I've seen in a very long time! I don't wanna give anything away, so just watch it.

X3 Dub (X-Mandomn3ss): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaz5DPWxcDI

Kaleb Review: This one is far less popular, but I really don't understand why. This is a fantastic dub, especially if you've already seen the movie. Great stuff DyceVaruna!

MrNutz gets root on R2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKjBRdMFkS0

Kaleb Review: So stupid.... that it's almost beautiful.

Ask A Ninja Question 23 "Ninternships": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNWwsXQtJl8

Kaleb Review: The Ninja is one of the best things to happen to YouTube. Don't believe me? Watch this clip, then you'll understand.

Zipa Dee Doo Dah (from "Song of the South"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFWvuycZ190

Kaleb Review: This movie has yet to be released on DVD (apparently because of Disney's belief that Uncle Remus being a slave might ofeend some people). I've seen the entire film, and it isn't offensive at all. Anyways, this is one of the best scenes from the movie.

Japanese Spider-Man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4Oaki3Droo

Kaleb Review: Wow, this is really sad. I'm not sure whether this is Spider-Man or Transformers.

The Great Stoires

Last night I was watching The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I don't know why it was, but the movie really got me thinking about life and the way we lead it. I know, I'm sounding melodramatic, but I didn't even realise it until the last twenty minutes of the film. It was three o' clock in the morning when the movie ended, and one scene rang clearly in my mind while I went to sleep.

Nothing smells worse then a Balrog's gas.

It was the scene where Frodo is about to get snatched up by the Nazgul near the movie's conclusion. He's been completely taken over by the ring, so he doesn't have any choice but to stand in front of this wretched winged beast. But right at the last moment, when all hopes about to fade, Sam takes him away from it all.. and nearly gets himself stabbed by Frodo in the process. There's a long silence. Sam says, "It's me! It's your Sam! Don't you know your Sam?" Frodo falls to the ground and says in a gentle earnest voice, "I can't do this, Sam". Sam gets up, and gives what is in my opinion, what one of the best monolouges in movie history.

Crap!! I think I dropped something! That hobbit probably wasn't important anyways.

He starts telling Frodo about the great stories, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened! But in the end, it's only a passing thing. The shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stuck with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, I finally do understand now. Folks in those stories, had lots of chances of turing back only they didn't. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. Frodo looks at him and asks, "What are we holding on to, Sam?" Sam answers with one of my favorite moive quotes, "That there is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

*Brokeback Mountain music plays in background* I wish I knew how to quit you, Mr. Frodo!!

I had seen that scene a dozen times before, but that night it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a scene that's hard to come by these days, a scene where a character almost completely takes himself out of the situation and compares it to the stoires he was told as a child. Through all of the choas and violence, there's a scene of quiet discovery. I felt a tear go down my cheek, because for me at that moment, the scene represented a huge chunk of my life thus far.

Frodo during one of his "emo" phases.

As a kid, I always wanted to be Luke Skywalker. Let's face it, you probably wanted to be Luke Skywalker at one point during your childhood. I wanted the adventure and the excitement, but most of all, I actually wanted to be a great person like Luke was.

Stories have the power to effect us when we're very young. They have a way of speaking to us, even when we were too little to entirely understand the plot. We're thrilled by the adventures of Indiana Jones and his search for The Lost Ark, but we're also completely emotinally connected to the character. Here's a man who would risk it all to save the rest of us. Not many people would take the measures that Indiana Jones did, and that's why the movie spoke to audiences beyond it's action sequences.

This is what I used to look like! That was when I was still using the Bowflex.

The interesting thing is, as I grow older, the more and more I refer back to stories I knew as a kid. If I'm going through a tough situation, I just think back to a particular scene from one of my favorite movies, and think about what the characters had to go through. It makes my day to day life look incredibly easy! Those guys had to climb mountains, fight orcs, and throw some trinket into an active volcano! Now that's tough!

It sounds kinda silly when I put it out there like this, but it's something I think we all do to some extent. That's the entire point of great stories, to give you something to hold on to when you're going through a rough patch. I was sitting there, watching the movie, and all of this washed over me like a flood. The great hereos kept goin, because they were holding on to something. They were holding onto the fact that there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. We all contribute to this world, even if the contribution is small and insignificant. Thanks, Sam! Thanks for the lesson, and the memories!

Rent Review

Simply put, Rent is the best movie musical to come out in years. Based on the Broadway musical of the same name (which was a remake of an older play called La Boheme), Rent truly is a fun movie to watch and hear. More importantly, the film has a real heart and soul, something sorely missing from most Hollywood produced movies today. Rent will stay with you well after the ending credits roll.

Starring a cast of drag queens and drug addicts (but boy can they SING!!!).

I'm not saying that it's a perfect movie. Infact, it's far from perfection. There were a couple scenes in the movie I felt were entirely expendable, and hurt the flow of the story. For example, the scene with Maureen's protest could have been cut waaaaaayyy down, or even out of the movie. Another point to be made is that Rent has a few very campy moments, which I didn't mind, but I've read other critic reviews that disagree with me. Basically, it suffers from flaws that every musical does, the fact that some people think it's funny when people break out into song. I personally found it refreshing and electric, but I'm sure that there are many who won't.

And now time for something competely different.

Which leads me to the music. Oh sweet lord, I loooovvee the music! From "Seasons of Love" to the film's finale, Rent boasts an outstanding array of songs. Unlike films like Chicago, these songs are actually based on subjects you can relate to on a personal level, making the whole feel far more human then any recent musical fair.

In conclusion, it's a musical tour de force. If you can't stand musicals, you'll feel like jabbing your eyes out thirty minutes in. If you're like me, however, you're gonna enjoy yourself. It's not a great movie, it's not even a particularly well made movie, but it's an entertaining and touching one. In my opinion, IT WAS RENT-TASTIC!

Rating: B

Kaleb Approved Rent Clips
Life Support: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz-JI-SaCck
Seasons of Love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3SBqnT5KP8
You'll See Boys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekdh0ZYfODw

DANCIN FOOL!!

I'll just say that last night was a blast!! I went to this dance at the home school expo (I don't remember exactly what it was called). Woah... IT WAS AWESOME!! It was like awesome to the third power! No, it was even more awesome then that! It was like... SUPER AWESOME! Yeah, I'm a little hyper right now. *bounces off the walls*

Name: Russell
Age:16
Favorite Animal: Ninja Penguins with Chainsaws!
We Never: Want to See Russell with his Shirt Off Ever Again!!!


Yeah, it was quite a night. The only real dissapointment was the fact that I wasn't made a posse leader by my friends (meaning that they all got cool canes, and I was stuck with the broken crappy cane). Yeeeaaahh, we're a very strange group. Strange in a strangely awesome strange way! They are all amazing, and we all have some great quirks (I love quirky people). Friends can make a great dance even more brilliant and electric. Especially when you keep bugging them randomly throughout the evening. While we're on the topic of bugging people, I would like to apoligise to James for my constantly annoying nature towards his person.

I think I've already mentioned that the dance was amazing, but did I mention that I danced like a somewhat retarded geek? Well, I did! It was brilliance in a can, and then some! They could have played less rap and hip-hop, but most of the music was pretty good.

Name: Christine
Age: 14
Least Favorite Song: You're Beautiful by James Blunt

Yeah, it was a fuuuunn night! Dancing with random people, singing along to "I Will Surive", and doing the "Spaz Attack" to dozens and dozens of songs! I danced till I couldn't dance anymore! Now my legs feel like logs, I slept till some ungodly hour, but I'm still dancing around the house like some kind of crazy person. SIGN ME UP FOR THE NEXT ONE!

Why Must Everything Be an Allegory?

Just recently I was reading a review for "Superman Returns", in which the critic said that the Superman character has many similarties to Jesus Christ. For example, in the scene where he's floating in space and you can hear the voice of his father saying, "I've sent them you, my one and only son". That's all fine and dandy, if the reviewer didn't insist that that portion of the film was meant to be an allegory. Not all films have a deep religious theme to them (and how come it's always Jesus.. why not Budha).

Poor Sup! A man just can't be the world's savior without immediately being compared to Jesus.

I don't know why this bugs me so much. It's just that most of this guy's review was talking about all the intentional Christian ties (which I would call universal themes, that aren't tied down to any religion) instead of actually reviewing the movie. I guess it's because I've seen far too many critics analzye these movies for some piece of possible allegory (which often doesn't even exist) instead of watching the movie! It's silly! If I tried hard enough, I could come up with five reasons why Jack Sparrow represented Christ in the latest Pirates film. Which I wouldn't, because that would be dumb.

I can understand drawing comparsions, but when you say that there is no way that the director didn't intend for the piece to draw such comparisions, then people are just being silly. Unless it's something like "The Chronicles of Narnia", where the writer actually said straight out that it was an allegory, then it probably isn't an allegory.

So if Superman is supposedly the Christ figure of the story... does that mean that Lex Luthor represents Simon Cowell? ...... I don't think that came out right.

.
Yeaaaaahhh, I guess this is the topic I end up writing about when I spent my afternoon reading movie reviews. Honestly, the guys breathe way too much into these films. Not everything is meant to have this amazing christian theme to it. The themes represented in the movie are universal in many religions and stories. But of course, that means that they couldn't make a big deal about the entire "Superman represents Jesus" thing. IT'S A SUPER HERO MOVIE!

The Human Condition

I'll admit it, I've been rather moody for the last couple days. What's weird is that I really don't know why I'm cranky, I just am. Maybe it's because I've limited most of my attention to the television instead of to things that could actually benefit myself and my lifestyle. Just because I don't have much to build towards for the next couple weeks doesn't mean that I should just sit in front of the computer all day.

I fell not unlike this dog. Of course, this is after I realise that I haven't achieved much that day.

Or maybe it's something more. Maybe it's because I set impossible personal goals for myself that I can't possibly live up too. No ones perfect, but I usually feel that I must be. Sometimes, I feel like I'm constantly being judged, like I'm a part of some insanely complicated game show. I feel this way not because of people's judgemental nature, but because of my own insecurity. I know everyon ehas these problems, and that's why I felt it would make a great topic. Everyone is conflicted with personal problems, even when they're at the highest point of their lives. So the real problem is that many of us just don't appreciate the things that we have.

Aren't you glad that you've got Bono with you wherever you go?

Take me, for example. I live in a gorgeous house, and I have the most loving parents anyone could ever ask for. I'm sure millions of kids would die for the position that I'm in right now. Yet... I'm not always happy with it. Why is that?

I'll tell you what, whenever you're feeling down, take a good look around at where you are. You've got a home, a body that hasn't failed you yet, and that amazing known as "life". Truly, that's all you really need. The rest is up to you.

Some people are in far worse situations. Some have to deal with abusive lovers, the death of a loved one, and even the inevitability of dying from a disease you didn't deserve. However, only a small fraction of people are in such a horrid condition that there isn't any hope that things will get better. Remember the good, and try to get away from the bad. Everyone is capable of being happy, especially you!

See! Even this guy is happy. If only we were all like "what's his name".

Woah... I feel better already! Till next time.