Monday, July 31, 2006

Rent: The Stargate Musical

Sheppard using "The Worlds Most Advanced Toliet".

Speaking in the most basic terms that the human language allows: STARGATE IS THE BEST SCI-FI SHOW ON TELEVISION! Seriously, if you haven't at least given this show a chance, run to you Tivo and record an episode. You'll thank me later (even though Christine didn't.. she's still awesome though). It makes Star Trek look like "Godzilla vs. Megalon".

You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out! And you... no Daniel, you're not doing it right!

Anyways, every Friday night I prepare myself for another dose of Stargatin goodness, and this week delivered the goods! Not only was Atlantis awesome, but SG-1 was fantastic as well! I'll admit, I stopped watching SG-1 last season because of the complete lack of cast energy. I'll be honest, a pack of dead rotting rats has more energy then the characters last season. Which made this episode so surprising. IT DIDN'T BORE ME TO DEATH!

Alright! Who farted?!!

The entire concpet behind the episode was actually quite clever. They merged elements from "Stargate Atlantis" into the show, making for some interesting interactions between the casts of both shows. One of my favorites being the conversation between Mitchell and Shepperd in the gateroom. It was one of those total geek moments that only Gaters (a term I use for Stargate fans) can fully appreicate. Awesome indeed!

This was where I had a Geek-Attack. It was soooo cool!

RODNEY MCKAY IS THE MAN! Seriously people, he's the best thing to hit television since that one Paris and Nicole reality show (which I can't remember the name of). Honeslty, he could be singing "La Via Boheme" from Rent, and it would be amazing! Woah.... what if they had an entire episode of Mckay singing showtunes. That would be awesome! I could see it now, "Stargate: The Musical"! Anyways, I should digress before I rise into "Geek Heaven" and never return.
Oh, what the heck. Let's go all the way with this concept!

*starts singing about Carter and Mckay* Seaaasssonnns of Looooovveee!

"STARGATE RENT" written by K.M. Stewart
How do you keep dialin the gate
When the gates electric bill is cauising millions to slip awwwaaaayyy!
Ori,Wraithi, they've all blown up minds. Now Earth has a deadline to the eeeeeennnnddd!

La Via Boheme! Dumdumdumdumdumdumdum! La Via Boheme! Come on guys! Sing along!

Yeah, that was pretty awful. Just pretend like you never read that, and tell NO ONE!! I really have no idea where I was going with this entry, so I'll just stop while I'm ahead. Have a great day, end of story, THE END!

The Next Generation of Playstation

As many who know me are already aware, I've been saving up for a Playstation 3 for the last few months. I'm basically getting the system because I know some really excellent games are coming out next year, but I'm slightly dissapointed with the launch titles.

The only game I could really see myself paying a hefty sixty dollars for is "Resistance: Fall of Man". Now that game looks like it's going to kick a serious amount of butt!! Not only does developer "Insomniac Games" have a fantastic track record (Ratchet and Clank, Spyro the Dragon), but the game is also going to be Sony's killer-app as far as online play is concerned. I'll admit, "Fall of Man" looks much gritter then anything the company had done before, but I'm sure the final product will be outstanding.

A screenshot from "Resistance:FOM"

Now all the other games that are coming at launch... well, it all looks like every other system's launch line-up. A lot of merely average games trying to cash in on a new system's fire. The only game besides "Fall of Man" that I would even consider is the new "Sonic the Hedgehog" game, but we all know about the crap Sonic Team has produced lately. "Shadow the Hedgehog" anyone?

Hopefully this new Sonic won't

I'm not saying that the PS3's future isn't bright, with such top notch titles just around the corner. "Assaian's Creed" looks amazing, and don't even get me started on the next batch of Final Fantasy games! I could hardly contain myself when I heard The Kingdom Hearts Team was making a Final Fantasy game. I WAS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT!!

Another Final Fantasy, another
fifty hours of my life flushed down
the toilet!

Needless to say, I'm going to be very happy when I get my new system. Plus, you can play it online the minute it's out of the box. NOW THAT'S AWESOME!!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dead Man's Chest Review

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Three years ago, "Pirates of the Carribean" was the hit of the summer. I remember walking into my local movie theatre expecting to have all of my childhood memories of the ride imitated on the screen, nothing more. I was shocked to find that the movie wasn't just a cheap advertisement for the ride, but also stood on its own as a swash-buckling comedy classic.

"Pirates" is this generations "Raiders of the Lost Ark". If the orginal was Raiders, then "Dead Man's Chest" is the "Temple of Doom" of the franchise. Both films have moments of creative genius, but both failed at bringing a darker tone into the mix. In "Dead Man's Chest", the darker scenes not only make much of the film stumble about like a drunken sailor, but also makes the entire film feel like it's suffering from multiple personality disorder.

First, lets look at Davy Jones and his crew. While they're impressive works of CGI mastery, they just come across as lifeless pieces of computer wizardy. Davy Jones is quite an achievement, but we didn't fall in love with Gollum becasue of how much detail was put into his finger nails. Audiences loved Gollum because of the character under all the pixels and polygons, not just because he looked cool. Furthermore, Davy Jones is just downright dissapointing compared to the charismatic performance Rush gave as Captain Barbossa in "The Curse of the Black Pearl".

The writers owe me a SOUL!

Apparenlty, the writers don't understand the words tension and build up. For example, you not only see the Kraken slaughter an entire ship early on in the film, but you're also treated to another scene nearly identical to it later in the movie. YOU DON'T SHOW A CREATURES FULL POTENTIAL DURING THE FIRST HALF OF A FILM!! What made the movie "Jaws" such a success was because you didn't see the entire shark until much later in the movie (I think everyone invovled in the production should have taken notes from Lucas and Speilberg). Two words: huge dissapointment.

The Kraken is about one-tenth as creative as the above drawing.

Not only is there no tension throughout, but they also took my favorite characters in directions I felt to be degrading. I really didn't like the movies failed attempt at a love triangle (which are usually awful to begin with). The entire thing basically destroyed Keira Knightly's character, and felt completely out of place in a "Pirates" movie.

Another innocent victim of a "Love Triangle Attack". When will writers ever learn!

On the positive side, the first forty-five minutes of the movie were exactly what I wanted from a sequel to an outstanding swash-buckling comedy... more swash-buckling comedy. I felt the same way about the three way fight near the film's conclusion, exactly what I wanted from a "Pirates" movie. Of course, the ending that followed was completely forced and depressing, leaving me with that hollow feeling I get when I'm dissapointed by a movie. It happened with "King Kong", and it happened here too.
Needless to say, the sport of "Wheel Swordfighting" lasted about as long as the XFL.

In conclusion, watch the orginal instead. "Dead Man's Chest" is long, overstuffed, and dreary. If you're going to see a fantasy film this summer, see "Superman Returns". Now that's a movie!!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Trouble with Podcasts

I just bought a video iPod a couple weeks ago, and let me say that its been both a blessing and a curse. The blessing being that I'm constantly entertained no matter where I am, the curse being that the outside world completely fades away the moment I jack into its electronic goodness. I mean... THE THING IS AMAZING!!

First of all, no one ever prepared me for the addictive drug known only as "podcasts". Trust me, I have never been more informed about what's going on in the world at large. Apparently, Israel is attacking somebody, and that somebody is doing the same... or something like that. The news has never been more hip, and neither has medi-core G4 programming. The marginally entertaining television show X-Play is just downright awesome when it's on that itty bitty little screen. WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, I'LL NEVER BE BORED IN THE CAR AGAIN!!

Not that I have any music on it. I've been too tied up in all of its video goodness to care. Although, I do have "The Star Wars Gangsta Rap," and that's all any man really needs.

I'm pretty weird, I know. In conclusion, I love my iPod, and I'm still a total geek. Until next time.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I Totally Agree with this Statement

Someone on Myspace posted a bulletin that truly spoke to me. I'll just say that I competely agree with what they were saying.

I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, huge boobs, round booty, long legs, big lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be onE as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys

This pretty much sums up my own ideas about how I feel women should be treated. Not as pieces of meat that we lust after, but as human beings with real thoughts and emotions (I'm not saying that everyone judges women this way, but far too many do). Who agrees with me?